Everything I Know To Be True About Deadlines
Chapter four of The Vital Mother Book (working title) is due in 13 days and I'm plugging away at it. I need to tell you though, I really didn't start working on it until yesterday.
I mean, I have (of course) been working on it mentally and conceptually — putting my antenna out for the proper subject material, but in terms of actually getting the words on the page, I 100% slacked off for more than two weeks!
Apparently slacking off until the last minute is my style, and I've fully embraced it, but it wasn't always that way. Now that the deadline is fast approaching, I have an actual reason to focus. And focus I will.
There are a hundred things to focus on as an ambitious mom of a five year old, and five month old.
I need to focus on being present with them, witnessing them, managing the emotions of the household (try as I might this is still what I do), getting my body-mind-care accomplished so I can show up for everything that matters, etc.
I don't cook much (at this time in my life), and I don't clean much (which meant for a long time that my house was a total wreck), but still: there are many things that want to claim my focus!
It's funny, I didn't realize that not setting deadlines was a huge part of the problem with my prior attempts to finish a book project (or any big project at all).
I've started five-ish books, and even (almost) sold one of them to a traditional publisher before I had a huge epiphany about NOT wanting an 'expert status' career.
And this one, the one I'm working on right now, I can say with confidence, is the first one I will finish. It's also the first of many. In fact, I can't see myself NOT working on a book project ever again!
All of my publishing and writing career desires were elusive until the deadline. Forever out of reach. It all just felt like a slippery dream I couldn't quite grasp.
I asked myself: why? why can't I finish a project? Why can't I see an idea through? Why can't I get these things DONE?
I wondered if it was self-sabotage, if maybe I wasn't going to DO/BE/HAVE it like all the journaling prompts asked me to claim for myself. I tried to figure it all out for YEARS.
The following tips are going to help you not only rock your creative projects and work, but also, they're going to help you with sales and growing your business (if you're on that path too).
Here is what I now know to be true about deadlines, in no particular order:
1. Deadlines allow you to manage your energy.
You need to know when to 'turn it up' and when to kick your feet up. Every tuned in and tapped in woman knows that life isn't about always pushing, doing, and crushing it. There needs to be built in time for nothing-ness and restoration. This is what allowing the natural rhythm of our body to lead, teaches us. This is our work to remember.
2. Deadlines must be solid, as in non-movable.
If you're moving your deadlines, and have trouble being held accountable to yourself, you need to create a way where you can't get out of it. I did this by creating a subscription for my book project. Each month, I see the recurring payments come through my system, and understand: I'm being paid for this, there's NO WAY OUT.
3. Deadlines allow you the space to work the way you're meant to work.
Maybe you're the person who gets her sh*t done ahead of time and THEN relaxes. Maybe you're more like me, and you 'slack off' until the deadline is FAST approaching. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you understand how YOU best work.
4. Deadlines allow you to PACE yourself.
This is repetitive, and an extension of the last point, but you do need to pace yourself, and you're not going to understand HOW to pace yourself until you have a finish line. Anyone who has ever run long distance knows what I'm talking about.
5. Deadlines help you structure your day.
This might be my favorite thing. There is nothing more satisfying to me than having the flow of my day be some version of this: wake up, mindset work/journaling (matcha or coffee in hand), drop into the book writing (whether I know what I'm writing or not), switch gears to blog writing, shift into sharing/speaking the message or theme of the day, and then shift into sales activity, BEFORE any admin that needs to be done.
Also, body movement, eating, and breastfeeding/time with my babes is woven throughout this order of things. And soon, after I rock the work day, I will fully unplug to be ONE WITH THE OCEAN. 🌊
To give you an example of this in action, right now, I have a hundred things pulling on my attention. I have emails to reply to, bills to pay, phone calls to receive or make, content to record, and my son is jumping up and down demanding I look at the 'chicken coop' he built with legos for the thirteenth time (side note: I detest legos but love his creative spirit).
Reguardless, I will stay strong. I will do things in the proper order, because I have found a rhythm and structure that works.
Also: for the judgey mom slice of you (she’s in me too) I DO spend time each day being fully present with my son (usually unplugged in nature together), but I also spend time each day being fully present with my creative work and my business. This is how I choose to do work and motherhood. Don't like it? Do you.
6. Deadlines help you sell your offerings.
You knew I would touch on this one, didn't you?
I'm in the business of helping sensitive, way-showing women, how to do the work they want to do, while making a difference, while living life on their terms, and deadlines related to selling your services, products, and offerings, well — I recommend 'em. Highly.
Please, for the love of your own mental well-being, set deadlines and STICK TO THEM.
This is the same thing as 'creating a container' and it's basic self-care/energy management. You (and your readers) need to know when an offering closes, so you can pace yourself properly, and also MOVE ON when it is time.
It's kinda like sweeping the floor after making a big mess. You need to wrap it up and wipe the slate clean before you move forward.
If you're uncomfortable with setting deadlines because you don't want your readers to feel 'rushed' into a decision, understand that you are not responsible for the decisions your readers make, however, you ARE responsible for being honest, doing your best work, and for getting the solutions you provide into people's hands (aka selling HARD)!
Your work is powerful and serves others. You selling your offerings and charging for them, does not TAKE, it PROVIDES! In other words, you need to do some energy and mindset work (you can hire me for this, by the way).
Alright, I'm going to leave off right here and roll into lunch. See?
Let me know in the comments below: do deadlines work for you? Where do you need to set some new deadlines? What new insights are you having right now?
Big Love,
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